hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
