yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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