she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Randomize
