So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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