can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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