the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
