I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize