we made out on top of his cat.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
