I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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