I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
