So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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