I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
