sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
