I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
