Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
