Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just had sex on a roof
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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