it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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