she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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