just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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