like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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