he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
