The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
