maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
