there was a trapeze. enough said
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dear god my vagina.
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