im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
