I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
