girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
