My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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