I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My bed smells like the plague
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