I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
