with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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