he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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