I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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