The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
