I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
