Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
