you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
