i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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