I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
