Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Found your dick twin last night
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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