if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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