I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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