Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
