If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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