Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
