Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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