You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
