my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm both gender and math confused
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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