No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
