You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
