I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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