Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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