no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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