Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
