i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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