My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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