K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Randomize
