New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I deserve this hangover.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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