Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
