Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
