He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
