he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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