My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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